Trapped in the Middle!

This weekend my twin girls received their first car.  It came a bit early, but was a great deal from a good friend, so…. dad jumped on it.  I took the girls out to practice in a local church parking lot.  It was a perfect day for having the top down and radio playing.  They did a great job, with minimal input from me.

2Girls and a Car

As I sat in the back seat giving pointers, I couldn’t help but once again feel twinges of panic settling in.  Not over their driving.  How did I get to this place?  How are they old enough to be getting their Learner’s Permit?  In the moment I felt good about who they are becoming, but my “mom mind” began to think back to days I hadn’t parented so great.  Those days I had lost my cool and yelled, and yes, I mean yelled.  Not just raised my voice, but all out yelled, the kind that can make your voice crack and send you into a fit of guilty tears before it’s over.  I thought back to days I got lazy or allowed my “to do list” to keep me from playing with them in the back yard.  In that moment I could have let my “mom mind” gain control.  I could have spiraled into a quick depressive state, regretting the past and worrying about the future.  And in the past I might have done just that.  How quickly that “mom mind” can convict, condemn, judge.  But with the top down and two beautiful sisters relishing the moment together, I chose a different path.  I scolded myself with a harsh “enough” and let my mind be filled with His word, “This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.”

It is easy as a Second Season Mom to get stuck in the middle.  There’s a lot of water under the bridge, but there is so much still in front of us.  Some days I feel like I am wandering in the valley, exhausted from the trip up and over one mountain, afraid to start the journey up the next.  As I have said before, I am taking this journey slowly.  I want to get it right.  I know I can learn and I know through His grace and wisdom I can grow and change.  I’m not the mom today I was five years ago.  The yelling is gone and the obsession over the “to do list” has been put to rest.  I am choosing not to regret, but to be thankful I have changed and to hope my girls have seen the change and know its source.  

As a little side treat I am attaching a great Teen Driving Contract you might want to check out.  It is from one of my favorite Christian authors and speakers Lysa Terkeurst.  You can find her blog at  Go to the Freebies section and you will find this contract with some other GREAT resources.


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