I did not blog last Friday. It was the 31st. If you have followed my blog at all, or know much about me, you know I try to set aside the 31st of the given month and have a mini-retreat. It is a day of planning, praying over the calendar, reflecting upon weeks past and looking to the future. I didn’t get a full day this time, due to an important board meeting I needed to attend. Fortunately though I had smidgens of time leading up to the 31st to get things organized, highlight some areas of concern and list out the items I wanted to focus on. I had some big decisions to make. Although my time was limited, I had a good day. I was able to pull aside during the late afternoon and do what I needed to do. Three things emerged, each a message already on my heart. Having them emerge again, helped me focus and make some tough decisions.
1. I need more intimacy with Christ.
2. Come Home. I have felt that call on my heart for two years. It is difficult to know what that means. We are in financial times and in a place in life where my working would make sense, would provide more security for college etc… I am still engaged in Real Estate. My best friend and I have started an organizing business. However, the refrain keeps going through my mind.
3. I need to give the very best to my family, so that corporately we can overflow into our community and world.
Some big decisions followed. I’ll write more about those Wednesday. That evening, following this time of refreshment and planning, I made a special dinner for the family. I had this planned, but at the end of my day, this particular day, it felt comforting and rewarding to do this special task for my family.
I made cheese Polenta with Barbecue Shrimp. I pullled out my new soup and sandwich platters from Pier One. We had toasted garlic bread and a side salad to round out the meal. My family was duly impressed. We lingered a little longer at the dinner table, enjoying a special Friday night.
Then came the challenge. My mother decided she wanted an impromptu 69th birthday party. Thankfully, being fairly organized, and coming out of a day of revisiting my purpose, we were able to throw it together. My sister-in-law and her 4 youngest pitched in. On top of that, a young married mother of two called asking us to keep her precious two year old daughter over night so she could focus some time and energy on her marriage. What’s one more at the party! With the help of two incredible daughters and an ever patient husband we created a taco salad bar and put together a little birthday centerpiece on the island.
I don’t share this hoping for a pat on the back or adoration. (although a few words of encouragement never hurt :)) No, I share it because I was challenged after a day of planning and purpose searching to live what I preach. I was reminded yet again, that being organized, planning and knowing our purpose is not so we can do more with the same amount of time. It is not about accomplishments. It is not about managing time. Being organized is about living in such a way that you can allow the interruptions (good or bad). You can focus on people and relationships. You can give. You can live being EFFECTIVE, not just EFFICIENT. There were some things that didn’t get done over the course of the weekend, but no regrets.
Then today, I got the blessing. Sometimes we have to bless to be blessed. I attended my first ever blog event. Arkansas Women Bloggers hosted a get together at Family Life here in Little Rock. I hesitated and almost didn’t go. But I went. And oh how glad I am I did. It was refreshing to be around other women sharing their hearts through blogging, all with a desire to minister to other women. The greatest blessing came though in meeting Barbara Rainey. I have know of Barbara and read her books, but to meet her in person was true joy. She has entered a new phase in her own life, and is doing some amazing things as an “empty nester”. To get a glimpse go to http://www.everthinehome.com. (I have to confess I placed an order as soon as I got home!) While I was excited to meet her and hear about her new venture these words struck deep into my heart. God used Barbara to confirm for me my decisions and heart desires.
“My advice to you as moms is to remember, you don’t have to do it all now, in this season. As women we are blessed to be able to lead two lives. We have a season where we focus on God, our husband and our families. Then we get to have this other season, when the kids are gone, to pursue all those other things. Don’t try to do it all now. You have thirty to forty, maybe even 50 years to pursue other things after you children have left home.”
It was as if in that moment I could breathe. God has been clear to me to come home. He has blessed my husband’s business providing what we need. He has given me opportunity to engage in real estate and a business with my best friend, but most of all He has reminded me the time for my family is now. As Barbara said, there will be time later to pursue other things. My girls are only home for a period. They will navigate these teen years but once. There are no second chances.