My day of planning on the 31st went well. As mentioned in Monday’s post. I have been fairly purposeful about my calendar and project notebook, so I spent the time I had looking back through my journal. I keep a daily journal. Well, there are a few days missing. For over 20 years I have held a morning quiet time. For me, it is a spiritual discipline. I love to sit with a fresh brewed cup of coffee, my Bible, journal and a devotional (or two). My husband sits in a nearby chair, practicing the same discipline. We don’t talk. We dwell in the peacefulness of a morning not yet disturbed. We dwell in the beauty of day not yet spoiled by our own sin nature. The sun slowly rises and with it the robin sings and nature begins to stir. In those moments our minds are clear. What truly matters seems to rise to the forefront of our thoughts. My husband ponders. I write. Often the words I write bring clarity to my mind. They determine the course of my day, or the next step in a decision to be made. I often look back upon these words, amazed that I penned them. Often it is evident, the Spirit has spoken. Often the words penned are quotes from the devotional I am reading or a verse that hits me with a fresh perspective or new conviction. When I take time to look back upon my journal I can see clearly the tapestry He has woven. What may have seemed chaos at the time, comes into focus and makes sense in hind-sight.
As I enter this period of raising teens, this Second Season, realizing my role is changing and my time to instill in them is quickly passing, I long even more for my actions and decisions to be purposeful. I want my decisions to reflect my priorities, to reflect who I am, to reflect my convictions. I want my decisions to have impact. As I read through my journal words confirmed. I am attempting to work a real estate business and organizing business part-time, but my main role is still at home. Our home is our ministry tool. Our home is my daughters’ safe haven, their soft place to land during these pubescent years. I am now homeschooling one. The decision to do so based upon frustration with both public and private educational systems that struggle to see the capacity of children with learning disabilities, especially those who just need a little boost, a little accommodation. The decision to do so based upon a need for my relationship with her to be more than one of tutor and task master. The decision based upon a child who was losing hope. My job is to protect her heart, but more importantly to teach her to fly. I am blessed that in this time, I can do this. It is a privilege and one I will not and dare not take lightly. In addition, I am still meeting weekly with dear friends who know a ministry vision God has placed on my heart. It’s been burning in me for years, but the time is not yet. It’s not easy for someone like me to wait, but I am learning. Words penned in the early morning hours in faithful discipline remind me to wait.
The main things remain the same. Over a fresh brewed cup of coffee in the early morn, it is clear.
P.S. I am currently reading “Visioneering” by Andy Stanley. Life altering. I highly recommend it. If you want something challenging related to being a mom, I recommend the following: The Passionate Mom, A Woman After God’s Own Heart, Disciplines of a Godly Woman or The Gentle Ways of a Beautiful Woman.
I also challenge you to join me in praying for three simple things. I have prayed weekly for these the past six months. They are simple, but alter my mindset. I pray weekly for Provision Not Prosperity; Peace not Panic; Gratitude not Grumbling.