I Give!!! (But, I vow to focus and finish)

I GIVE!  It is 8:00 at night, and quite frankly I am T-I-R-E-D.  I have too much on my plate, all of my own choosing, and quite frankly I have been following very little of my own advice.  So tonight, I feel like a two ton gorilla ready to plop down and call it quits.  There’s nothing wrong with my life-we are employed, we are healthy, we are safe.  No, it’s just all that little stuff-that stuff that when not managed well turns you into either a screaming hyena or an overwhelmed gorilla.  I am juggling two businesses, homeschooling (for the first time) a high school student, managing a home, and living out my gifts volunteering with Christian Women’s Job Corps.  I love it all.  But, some days I get distracted, I fail to block time and my mind starts wandering.  I fail to focus and finish.  Oh, how many times I have uttered those words to my children, “Focus, finish what you started.”  Ouch.  So goes motherhood.  It always comes back around doesn’t it?!  As the tension crept up my back today, as I lay awake at 4:15 a.m. thinking of all the tasks left undone, I silently screamed out “I GIVE!”.  

Focus.  That’s what I need to do.  I need to set aside some time this week to tackle three items on each of my projects.  I need to focus.  I need to quit multi-tasking, flitting from one thing to another, attempting to juggle.  I need to focus.  Focus brings stillness, quiet, resolve.  Focus brings fresh breath.  Focus helps me hear the still small voice of my Master.  I can’t finish until I focus.  I’ll never finish if I look too far ahead or keep turning to my right and to my left.  I’ll only finish when I focus.  Focus will bring clarity to the path, enable me to see what is ahead.  Intent focus has me looking only one step ahead, at the one thing that needs to be done next.    

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While I have to admit I still feel a bit like an over weight, grumpy gorilla, I have new resolve.  I know God has ordained my days.  I know God has a plan.  I know God can and will bring clarity.  Focus to finish.

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