Friendships Matter to Our Daughters

I have twin 16 year old daughters.  I have loved every season of life with them.  I have to say though, there is something very settling about the season we are in right now.  They are coming into their own.  As a mom, I have the opportunity to begin to see glimpses of the women they will become.  I have the opportunity to see the fruits of my labor and know that it was not in vain.

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I have never been one to have a ton of friends.  Partly due to my personality type.  I love my alone time and I’m an introvert.  I am also extremely loyal and when I do make friends, true friends, the relationships are lasting, authentic and deep.  I have had the opportunity lately to spend more time with my friends.  We have been engaged in business, events, sharing difficulties in life.  I have also just made a point lately to spend more time with my friends.  My daughters have also been spending more time with friends.  I love to watch them interact with their friends and see them with this group of girls they have known for years, as well as the new set of friends.  They are bound with girls of like faith.  They share prayer requests, they share philosophies on dating, they share shopping, they share laughter.

This past week on the ride home from school one of my daughters commented on how much she liked one of my friends and then went on to say how happy she was I had gotten to spend more time with my friends.  I asked her why she liked my friends and why it mattered to her if I spent time with them.  I don’t think I had ever really given that aspect much thought.  Her first comment was that I was happier when I got to be around my friends.  Her second comment though was the one that mattered.  She went on to tell me she loved my friends because she knew they loved God.  She knew they were all really good moms who worked really hard to raise their children and to encourage others.  Then she said the golden words.  She said she liked my friends because she knew they prayed for her and they cared about my family as much as they cared about me.   Yes.  She is right.

When our friends are women of faith walking our faith journey with us, in honesty, in integrity, they influence our families and we their families.  I am a better person because of this small group of women.  My family is a better family because of this small group of women.  These are the women who correct me, hold me accountable, rejoice with me, pray with me. These are the women who would pick up my kids in an emergency, bring me food when I am sick and know how much I love chocolate!

As moms our friendships matter.  We are often cautious about the friends our daughters choose.  Are we as careful about our own friendships?  Do we spend time with women who influence us for good?  We need to remember the women we choose as friends will influence our families as well.  We need to remember that how we live out our friendships sets the example for our daughters.  I am so thankful my daughters see the women my friends are.  I am so thankful they see my friends as positive role models.  I am so thankful my friends enhance my family, make me a better mom and wife.

Friendships Matter.

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5 thoughts on “Friendships Matter to Our Daughters

  1. Oh, I so agree! I have been like you, enjoying time without people! I love to work alone. I cannot explain that. But I do have a few friends, and they are the “straight line” kind who have instant and complete access directly to my innermost being. We talk truth with each other and it is too important to allow hurt feelings to interrupt.
    My only daughter (four sons!) is like me. One friend. Okay, maybe two. But the young ones she invested in did not remain true to her. One actually set her up and then tripped her, socially. Wow, did that hurt! Another simply stopped relating. Entirely. For no reason that either her mom or my daughter could ever discover. Caput. More pain.
    Now she is 30 and enjoys friendships with only a few, very carefully selected. And I think she fears. I am thankful she does not fear so much that she has not tried again.
    Thanks for a lovely essay, here. I learned and gained from it. ❤ K

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    • It is difficult for us introverts. However, I also believe God has shown me it is within His will for me to surround myself with a small number of authentic women. That is what Christ did. Christ was able to connect at a heart level with all, but he surrounded himself with 12 men, whom He poured into. So glad this spoke to you.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. This is really good and so important. When my daughters (who are all married now with children) were younger we had common friends. I mean I was friends with the mothers of the girls they were friends with and we all helped each other. I still have those same friends, and it’s true, when I spend time with them we are all encouraged. It really does benefit our families, because we know we all care about each other’s families and would be there in a heartbeat if we were needed. How precious it is to have friends who love God and you can support each other. I don’t get together with those friends as often any more, but when we do, it’s as if time has not passed. I’m right after you on the Women Leading Women fb page in the Talk it Up Thursday thread.

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  3. Hey great blog! Does running a blog like this require a large amount of work?
    I’ve virtually no expertise in coding however I was hoping to start
    my own blog in the near future. Anyhow, if you have any recommendations or tips for new blog owners please share.
    I understand this is off subject however I just needed to ask.

    Many thanks!

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    • Thank you so much. I am probably NOT the person to ask about running a blog. I began this blog as a means of accountability for myself during a financial transition. I use a free WordPress blog template. As you can tell if you dug around much, I don’t post regularly (I’d like to but life happens), I don’t have a series of blog posts written in advance, and I don’t earn any money with this blog. I have been told I am approaching numbers where I could, but I am too busy with my business and homeschooling to even look into how that happens or hire anyone. Blogging is rewarding. I have made connections and I do believe it has benefited my business, even though that was not my purpose initially. I am so glad you enjoy the blog. I encourage you to do it. Just make it what you want it and don’t get caught up in comparing yourself to other blogs or setting high expectations. Write from the heart.

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