Being mom takes time. I have struggled with what to write about today. I am not one of those bloggers with weeks or months or pre-written blog posts dated and ready to post. Some days I wish. No, I’m a busy mom, a Christ follower just dabbling in this thing called the “blogging world”, primarily as a means of accountability.
I am a mom. I own an organizing business and speaking ministry. I home school and am very engaged in my church and association. Life is full and if I am not VERY careful I can quickly allow my job, my volunteer activities to overshadow my being wife and mom. Sadly, as I enter women’s homes or lives through my business or speaking ministry, I find far too many women have let this very thing happen. They are well meaning women. Most are women of faith. Yet, being mom and wife has lost its place as a priority, second only to their relationship with Christ. Their calendars and time are consumed with what they are DOING for their families instead of who they are BEING for their families. They do things: buy an abundance of things; pay for an abundance of opportunities/lessons/activities; they drive from place to place keeping a schedule. In the frantic pace of life though the stuff begins to overtake and the relationships begin to suffer, mom begins to suffer.
Being a mom takes time. Not just time for cleaning, cooking, driving, purchasing, but time to be with your kids, your family. It requires focus and planning. Too often the home is in chaos because mom has failed to block off time to be mom, doing the stuff and being present.
What is the solution? I believe the solution is to constantly give thought to what kind of home you want to have.
First, dream. Write it down. Do you envision family meals and evenings playing board games in a home that reflects order? Do you envision Saturday mornings baking in the kitchen with your daughter? Do you dream of a home where everything has its place and at least 75% of the time is in its place? Not perfection, but calm and beauty? Cut pictures out of a magazine. Create a dream board. (I keep a notebook with me that has my “dream” snapshots pasted to the back pages.)
Second, time block. You’ve heard me say it before. And I don’t just write about it, I live it. the only way you will ever be the wife and mom you want to be is if you block off time to take care of the tasks you need to take care of. Don’t just block it off, but guard it. Multi-tasking is NOT a good thing. In fact there are studies out now pointing to the dangers of multi-tasking. Multi-tasking is really nothing more than being distracted. Guard your mom time. Drive the kids to school and lock your phone in the glove compartment. Block off an hour when the kids get home from school or you get in from work to catch up, prep dinner. Again, turn off the cell phone, turn off the television, put away the calendar. If you are responsible for cleaning the home, getting the groceries, block off time to take care of those tasks. They won’t magically happen. You won’t “find” time to get it done. You have to plan to get it done.
I don’t always like being mom. I get tired of doing laundry, planning meals, running to Target. What I do like though is knowing that at the end of the week my family and I have shared laughs around the dinner table, arguments have been minimized because we all had the clean clothes we needed. I enjoy a less than perfect home, but one in which we are always ready to welcome friends and family.
Being mom is important. Being mom takes time. Don’t let life race by. Don’t just be a doing mom. Be a present, giving mom. Make time to focus on your family and set the tone for your home. It won’t be easy, you won’t succeed week in and week out, but when you get it right, you’ll be so glad you made time to be mom.