Photo by Justyn Warner
As I prepared to post tonight I couldn’t help but think, “How many times am I going to say ‘I’m back!’?” This blog has been through many transitions. Some simply following life changes. Some related to business ventures. Others, a result of comparison. Ouch. Admitting the last hurts. Yet, it is the truth. At some point don’t we all fall prey? And that is okay, so long as we recognize it, acknowledge it and return to our true self.
This blog began as an outlet, a personal space to think out loud and connect. I have been amazed and blessed by the connections made, the lives touched and blog friends who have in turn touched my life. It is not a business. It is not a platform. It is simply the sharing of my story, a place to be creative.
A year and a half ago God answered a big prayer. I wanted and needed to go back to work. God provided beyond anything I could have thought possible and in perfect timing. My girls entered their Senior year of high school (yes, if you are new to the blog, I have twins). I was just months away from 50. Lots of change, lots of big life moments. In the midst of that an opportunity to go back to work full-time doing what I began my career doing, an opportunity to return to my non-profit roots, my love for service.
It has been a transition. Those Senior girls graduated and ventured on to university and cosmetology school. We gained a new dog-child (graduation gift for said daughters rarely at home). Full-time work, taking an existing office unit, and leading it to adopt a new mission, new work. At times I have doubted my capabilities, I have felt inferior. At times I have wondered, “Why me? Why here? Why now?” Finding my place in a big, complicated, not so healthy bureaucracy going through its own restructuring and leadership changes, has not been easy. But this is what I have learned-know to be true. I am capable. I am prepared for this. I am strong.
Life is good. Life is lived to the fullest when we are stretched and beyond ourselves. God doesn’t just provide the opportunity and walk us to the open door. He leads us through the door and stands beside us ready to meet our every need. The hours spent with a personal trainer 6 months leading up to and 6 months after I began work were not just about my physical strength and health. Those hours were about learning to push myself, trust my trainer and my capabilities. Those hours were as spiritual as they were physical. Those hours taught me the importance of self-care. Serious spirit, mind and body self-care. Tending to me has helped me cultivate the habits and skills I need to be the person I want to be, reflecting Christ at home, at work and in my community. Tending to me has helped me see who I am in Christ, to embrace the me He created in His image to do His will. Tending to me has helped me love others, to risk, to forgive and to release.
So, this isn’t “I’m back”. This is “Hello, I’m still here.” Lessons are learned to be shared. Life is lived to be shared. That’s what this blog is all about. It’s me, sharing a little bit of me, hoping as I continue to tend to me, you will be inspired to tend to you and the things we cultivate will begin to blossom and bloom into a life we never imagined- lives full of victories, joys, hardships, losses. Lives lived to the fullest. Lives shared.