You Are Enough

tulips

One of the biggest lies I fall prey to is the lie that “I am not enough”.  Some of it stems from years of negative messages, trying to live up to an impossible standard, trying to keep everyone happy and conflict at bay.  Other times I get caught in the comparison trap.  And some days it comes from exhaustion and feeling as though I have nothing else to give.

The truth is we are made to influence-to live in relationships with others, called to the ministry of reconciliation.  God wants to partner with us to influence-to help others enter into a right relationship with Him.  He wants us to experience His fullness.  But too often we are like a water bottle.  We look great, we go to church, we study our bible, we show up and do the work and then we make sure the lid is screwed on tight.  We want to keep it all safe, we want to stay in control.  The problem is when we put the lid on, when we bottle up the knowledge, the lessons, the whispers of hope, we limit what God can do in us and through us.  We are full and over time we stagnate.  The full life, the abundant life only comes when we understand that we have to pour out His truth, allow His spirit working in us and through us to spill over- as we pour out, lead with truth, lead from our core His is able to continuously fill us-it never ends.  Just as with the water bottle.  If you take the lid off and then slowly pour more water into the bottle, the water already in the bottle gently flows out.

The TRUTH.  The TRUTH is that I am enough, only when I am continuously being filled and continuously giving.  I am only giving when I am in relationship, pouring into others and allowing them to pour into me.

You are enough.  You are enough because you are His and He longs to fill you and to empower you to pour out into others.  Be brave.  Be strong.  Be faithful.  Be gracious.  Above all remember He is sufficient and because of that YOU ARE ENOUGH.

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Busyness Does Not Equal Success

I chose to take the week before Easter off and then this week I have been knocked down by a killer sinus infection and bronchitis.  So my week has taken a little detour, but I’m not off track!

TRUTH.  It is amazing when you decide to select a word, pray for God to show you an area to make improvements, how the selection of the word begins to weave a pattern in your life.  The message begins to come at you from all directions and because of your intentionality and awareness you begin to see it bearing fruit in your life.  You begin to realize your own strengths in an area.  The word TRUTH is proving to be just that for me and I am excited to be on this journey, to have an opportunity to share with you what I am learning, coming to accept and finding challenging.  And the truth is, I’m not sure this is going to be a word just for a year.  Each day, each interaction thrusts me into the reality that TRUTH is missing.  There are far too few willing to be truly brave, and speak the TRUTH.  There are too many failing to act in TRUTH despite the words they spray across social media or over microphones.  TRUTH is indeed the core- not just of who we are, but the core strengthening and binding our communities.

The third lie I have wrestled with as a leader is this:  Busyness equals success and if we simply stay busy enough, we can have it all.  Life is fast paced and we expect immediate responses, service, answers, provision.  Tools surround us enabling us to multi-task, work remotely, work around the clock and be in more than one place at a time.  But in all the busyness we have lost site of the TRUTH.

The TRUTH is we can have it all, just not all at once.    God Himself set the example for us throughout scripture-beginning with creation.  God set the world in order over the course of 7 days.  In His infinite power He could have simple spoken it all into existence in one nano second.  But. He. Did. Not.  With focus and purpose He spoke the parts of the Universe into existence one day at a time.  He rested after each, reflecting on what He had just called forth into being.  He savored it, quietly taking it in and proclaiming “it is good.”  The process was as important to Him as the outcome.  And in the end, it was all created, built to sustain and provide for His masterpiece-you and I.  The work, the creation, was all so He could have relationship with us, and us with Him.

So why do we strive so hard?  Why do we attempt to master time management for the sake of efficiency instead of effectiveness?  Why do stay on the treadmill, competing to see who can leave the office latest, whose in-box is the fullest, whose calendar is illegible?   Why?  Because we have lost sight of the TRUTH.  We were not made for accomplishments.  Work was the result of the fall of man-the rift in the relationship with the one true God.  We were made for relationship- with Him and with one another.  We were made to complement one another, no one being greater than or lesser than another.  We were made for the rhythms of creation.  We are meant to rise, to work, to rest, to reflect and to voice our gratitude.  We are meant to walk in daily obedience, letting the worries of tomorrow go and trusting today’s manna to be sufficient.  We are meant to care for and ensure our relationships in all of our roles come first.

I released the busyness lie about 8 years ago.  It was liberating.  How did I do it?  It wasn’t easy.  I grabbed for the old habits often.  But this TRUTH, this next line is what helped me the most.  I am not defined by my accomplishments, my roles or my job.  I am defined by who I am.  And as I have said before, who I am does not change depending on my role.  I am defined by my relationship with my God and judged based upon how I then relate to those placed in my path.  I have learned that I must practice His presence.  God will not shout over the noise and clutter.  His voice is the still small whisper.  He won’t compete for my attention or time.  He won’t fight me for accolades or recognition.  He simply wants time with me to answer my questions, to give me my marching orders.  For every yes, every new task or activity, there must be a no, no longer or a wait.  The decisions aren’t easy, but I can choose what is best over what is good.

When we focus on what is TRUTH, when we quit striving, the daily objectives become clear.  And one day added to another, step by step, the goals get met, the work gets completed.  We get to cherish the process and build relationships.  We eventually get to have it all, just not all at once.

I challenge you to keep a time log over the next three weeks.  (I saw you cringe)  I promise you’ll be glad you did.  Few of us work as many hours as we think we do.  Few of us are as busy as we think we are.  Keep your time log and then begin to time block, giving yourself specific blocks of time to focus on the most important tasks for the day.  For more tips go to my previous post:  https://wordpress.com/post/simplifiedorganizedstyled.com/1837

 

Don’t Adapt-Be You ALL the Time

Adapt.  Accommodate.  Be flexible.  Be open to change.  Evolve.  Those words seem to be the mantra of our day.  Yet those words only promote the company, the cause, the agency.  Those words lead to compromise, the kind of compromise that leads us to define ourselves by our actions, what we do, instead of who we are.  The TRUTH is that in order to live with, lead with integrity we must know our core values and then we must unapologetic-ally stand by those values.  There is nothing gained when I refuse to live the truth and love in truth.  I am who I am and in standing by my core values and being consistent, others can know me more authentically, I am able to make better decisions.

There are lines in the sand.  If I believe that TRUTH matters, and not only seek to follow His TRUTH, but hold TRUTH as a value, I will not lie or “spin” something in order to hide the facts.  Could the value cost me position?  Yes.   But will the TRUTH cost me my identity?  No.

Sadly, I have been the chameleon.  I have adapted and accommodated.  More often than not I have simply turned a blind eye or held my tongue.  Sadly I see too many chameleons – at work, in church, in acquaintanceship.  Fortunately, I have chosen not to be the chameleon more often.  As I have had the privilege of entering this second season career I have been committed to doing it better, being authentic, being braver.   I have chosen to know my values, my TRUTH.  I have chosen to lead in TRUTH and I have challenged our team to set values, one of which is TRUTH.  There is no value in blending in.  Being true to my TRUTH sets me apart, but it doesn’t mean I’m disruptive or unyielding.  It simply means I bring myself, my talents, my gifts, my strengths to influence.  It means I am known, truly known.

Canva - Green Chameleon on Green Leaved Tree

My TRUTH is centered on God’s Word and is a reflection of my faith.  My TRUTH remains the same whether I am at home with my family, at work leading, serving in my community or participating in worship at my church.  My TRUTH centers me, it gives me a true north by which to assess information, make decisions.  My TRUTH sets me apart and sets me up for success.  My TRUTH protects me.

As you join me in the pursuit of TRUTH, challenge yourself to be you ALL THE TIME.  Know your TRUTH.  If you feel lost, I encourage you to search scripture for TRUTH, don’t try to navigate this life without an anchor and a rudder.  It is not all relative.  Every thought, every word, every action matters, and it matters most to you, to the you, you are becoming.

 

 

 

 

TRUTH – Centering, Strengthening

It has been a long while.  I honestly wasn’t sure I was going to keep the blog.  The end of 2018 and beginning of 2019 have been a season of taking stock, trying to align my activities with my purpose, my roles.  The blog had a big “?” by it.  Honestly, all social media has had a big “?” by it.  Facebook has been kicked to the curb, but the blog shall remain.  I miss writing.  I miss the experience of contemplating, assessing what I am learning in order to share, or to simply think out loud.

My word this year is TRUTH.  I had come to realize that much of the anxiety I have struggled with the past few years was a result of believing the lies, letting my mind run wild before stopping to assess the truth.  I realized I was blaming myself for relationships that weren’t healing, when the truth is I can’t change others.  I found that much of my being guarded, holding back was believing keeping the peace and caring for others mattered more than taking care of me, being honest about my feelings.

Just as I struggled with my own truth, it is evident the world around us is void of truth.  We don’t know what to believe.  The news, which used pride itself on factual presentation of events, has become editorial.  Social media, especially Facebook, has become a platform for showing only our best life, creating a facade.  Even the church is plagued.  Prosperity and blessing are preached.  Performance is emphasized over character, knowing God.  We want to allow everyone to create their own truth.

Here is what I am finding just three months in.  TRUTH is powerful.  TRUTH is freeing.  TRUTH requires bravery.

Truth is not relative.  Truth is truth.  It is fact.  It is actuality.  Priscilla Shirer says it best, “Truth is who God is and what He says it is.”  My desire to focus on truth, to step back, breathe and find the truth has simplified my decision making, has begun to free me from an identity tied up in what others think of me.  It is not an excuse to be dismissive, or arrogant.  It is not about being right.  It is the freedom to pause in the moment and to look for what is factual, what is actual.  It is the peace that comes with asking what God says, who He says I am, the other person is.  TRUTH leads to GRACE,  because in that moment of TRUTH I remember who I am, whose I am, what matters most, and I can speak, act, decide with GRACE.  I am centered.  I am anchored, no longer tossed about, but held firmly in the TRUTH.

The world needs a little more truth.  I’d love for you to join me in the pursuit of truth.  I’d love for you to visit again as I share throughout this year the truths I am learning, embracing.

 

 

Power of Knowing Who You Are

The pursuit of balance, organization, goals… The advice abounds, yet the pursuit seems to never end.  We find ourselves starting over, starting again, wondering if we are even on the right path, capable, able.  It can be exhausting, and in the midst of striving to achieve, life passes us by, we miss the moments, we miss becoming.

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Two young women have approached me in recent months asking me about my career path, how I managed family, career, success.  Questions like this never come easy, because I find most of us don’t see ourselves the way others see us.  I struggled to answer.  I have never had a career path, real career aspirations.  No doubt early in my career I did, but as life began to emerge those quickly faded.  Marriage, the desire for children, building a home and a life with family, those have been my aspirations.  Managing those well have been my priority.  The career, the opportunities before me now, those are icing on the cake.  I like to think they are the result of a life well lived, an opportunity to be who I am, not tasks, not plans, not rungs on a ladder.

As I sought to answer both women with honesty, seizing the moment to influence another this is what I shared.

First and foremost, be who you say you are and be who you are no matter the circumstance.  I am a Christian first and foremost.  Every decision I make flows from a place of faith and I seek to align my decisions with the Word of God, His precepts, His ways.  How I make my decisions, who I desire to be doesn’t change based upon my role.  I am who I am, and that is simply a woman of faith seeking to serve God.

Second, do what you say you are going to do.  Commitment, honesty, integrity-traits lost in a world where power and position, being a “company” woman/man pays bigger dividends.  Yet commitment, honesty, integrity are lasting.  Doing what we say we are going to do has lasting impact, builds relationships, builds trust, builds reputation.

Finally, do everything you do with excellence.  Excellence is not perfection.  Excellence is not about being right, or being the best.  Excellence is about being your best and doing your best.  Excellence is about caring, caring that the product you produce reflects the very best.  In a world where outputs and outcomes reign, those who influence, those who create impact, will stay the course.

The words above may seem to simplistic.  They aren’t the words of advice I would have shared in my late twenties/early thirties.  But they are the words I live by.  I am not a wife, mom, community engagement officer out to achieve.  I am a wife, mom and community engagement officer because that is who God has called me to be.  Those are the opportunities He has given me.  My only desire is to be who I am and influence others.  That is my secret to staying focused and organized.  When you know who you are and you focus upon influence (relationship with others) it’s easy to know what matters and what doesn’t.  It’s easy to stay motivated.  It’s easy to to release the future and focus on the next step.

Years ago, a mentor passed this anonymous poem along to me.  It became a part of my life mission.  I keep it with me at all times-it finds it’s home in the front of my planner.  I share it with you, hoping it encourages you, helps you settle upon the woman you are.  The plans, the tasks-they will all fall in place.  But first, YOU.  Your power will unfold as you embrace who you are.  Who you are matters more than what you do.

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*If you follow me on Facebook you know I had an opportunity to celebrate this advice with one of my daughters.  I have spent 19 years giving my daughters this same advice, and it paid off.  My daughter, a freshman, was given the Greek Life Woman of Integrity Award.  I am so proud of her, so thrilled she is learning to live the “who” over the “what”.

Are You Ready?

Easter is my absolute favorite holiday.  I love the anticipation:  Lent, Holy Week-pondering all that my God and Savior did for me.  It is also the season of renewal, “spring cleaning”, fresh starts as nature’s green bounty begins to emerge.  The colors, the song birds, the crisp air, all representative of new life.

It’s easy to get caught up in the doing:  cleaning base boards, washing exterior windows, running errands, planting perennials, thatching the grass, preparing Sunday’s Easter menu.  But oh how sad, if that is all we prepare for.

This year I ask myself, and I ask you.  Are you ready?  Are you ready to really give your life to Christ?  I don’t just mean a one time faith decision proclaiming you believe in Jesus Christ the Son of the one and only God, Jaw-eh.  Are you ready to submit to His will, to accept whatever is required of you to serve Him, to be used by Him to show His majesty and power to a fallen world?  Christ’s agony in the garden, asking His Father to spare him, to remove the cup, but then bending to His Father’s will was not just for our salvation, but is an example of how we are to live-broken, submitted, willing.

I want to be willing.  I no longer want the circumstances of my life to dictate my feelings, my responses.  I want to live yielded.  I want to be ready.  I know to do that I have to remain disciplined to begin my day with Him, girding myself with His truth, prayerfully yielding each day to Him and remembering that the only true calling on my life is to live obedient to His Word.

Are you ready?  If you have never chosen to accept Christ as the Son of God, would you consider that today?  There is no hope, no life without Him.  He is the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end.  He is our hope, our only way to God the Father.  New life comes through the shedding of His blood on our behalf.

If you are a Christian, would you join me in preparing for all God calls you to?  Will you submit?  Be willing to be ready.  Sunday is coming.  Sunday is not the culmination and should not be our one “big” day of worship.  Sunday is the beginning.  He died.  He rose again.  He walked among His disciples and then ascended into Heaven. leaving us with the power of His Spirit.  May we be ready to live victoriously for Him all year and may our churches be filled.

Embrace being Invisible

I love to read.  I love to learn.  As I have made this transition back to full-time work and have sought to effectively lead an office through re-organization, reading and learning have been vital to my success, but more importantly vital to my emotional well-being.  My reading and learning must be balanced.  I can’t just read about management practices or leadership skills, I have to feed my spirit.  My whole self has to grow in order to be effective and healthy.

I recently read “Unseen” by Sara Hagerty.  (http://sarahagerty.net/unseen/)  Initially I thought this book would have nothing to do with my leadership, but would be a good read for me personally.  I was wrong.  Creating change, leading people through reorganization is all work done quietly.  A great deal of it is work the leader must do in the hidden spaces.  It is being faithful to show up, to keep moving forward, to wait patiently on others to begin to see and take hold of the new mission.  It is the unseen work.  It is prayer.

“Unseen” is an authentic book.  Sara Hagerty shares what many of us would never voice to another.  It is a vulnerable read, but it will stir your spirit.  As I have led, I will be honest… I have wanted kudos, a pat on the back.  That hasn’t come.  I have felt discouraged, wondering if the mission to engage others in service to meet the needs of our community would ever resonate with anyone outside our office.  But reading Sara’s story challenged me to dig deep, to deal with the reality- Who am I living for?  Is my identity wrapped up in what others think?  Those aren’t easy questions to answer.  The truth was painful because the answers didn’t match what I say I live.  I say I live for Christ, that my identity is in Him.  Yet, all too often, that is not the reality of how I live.  “Unseen” has reminded me to focus on who I am, the relationships with those around me, and believe I am where I am to serve Him.  Being obedient to Him.  It has reminded me to stop in prayer, breathing in His word, when doubts or frustrations rise.  It’s about our focus.  When we focus on what the world cannot see, we live free from the need for worldly success.

There is something freeing when we embrace being invisible.  Being the best version of me is all that matters.  I am the best version of me when I am focused on Him.

Tending to Me

Female Strength_Photo by Justyn WarnerPhoto by Justyn Warner

As I prepared to post tonight I couldn’t help but think, “How many times am I going to say ‘I’m back!’?”  This blog has been through many transitions.  Some simply following life changes.  Some related to business ventures.  Others, a result of comparison.  Ouch.  Admitting the last hurts.  Yet, it is the truth.  At some point don’t we all fall prey?  And that is okay, so long as we recognize it, acknowledge it and return to our true self.

This blog began as an outlet, a personal space to think out loud and connect.  I have been amazed and blessed by the connections made, the lives touched and blog friends who have in turn touched my life.  It is not a business.  It is not a platform.  It is simply the sharing of my story, a place to be creative.

A year and a half ago God answered a big prayer.  I wanted and needed to go back to work.  God provided beyond anything I could have thought possible and in perfect timing.  My girls entered their Senior year of high school (yes, if you are new to the blog, I have twins).  I was just months away from 50.  Lots of change, lots of big life moments.  In the midst of that an opportunity to go back to work full-time doing what I began my career doing, an opportunity to return to my non-profit roots, my love for service.

It has been a transition.  Those Senior girls graduated and ventured on to university and cosmetology school.  We gained a new dog-child (graduation gift for said daughters rarely at home).  Full-time work, taking an existing office unit, and leading it to adopt a new mission, new work.  At times I have doubted my capabilities, I have felt inferior.  At times I have wondered, “Why me?  Why here?  Why now?”  Finding my place in a big, complicated, not so healthy bureaucracy going through its own restructuring and leadership changes, has not been easy.  But this is what I have learned-know to be true.  I am capable.  I am prepared for this.  I am strong.

Life is good.  Life is lived to the fullest when we are stretched and beyond ourselves.  God doesn’t just provide the opportunity and walk us to the open door.  He leads us through the door and stands beside us ready to meet our every need.  The hours spent with a personal trainer 6 months leading up to and 6 months after I began work were not just about my physical strength and health.  Those hours were about learning to push myself, trust my trainer and my capabilities.  Those hours were as spiritual as they were physical.  Those hours taught me the importance of self-care.  Serious spirit, mind and body self-care.  Tending to me has helped me cultivate the habits and skills I need to be the person I want to be, reflecting Christ at home, at work and in my community.  Tending to me has helped me see who I am in Christ, to embrace the me He created in His image to do His will.  Tending to me has helped me love others, to risk, to forgive and to release.

So, this isn’t “I’m back”.  This is “Hello, I’m still here.”  Lessons are learned to be shared.  Life is lived to be shared.  That’s what this blog is all about.  It’s me, sharing a little bit of me, hoping as I continue to tend to me, you will be inspired to tend to you and the things we cultivate will begin to blossom and bloom into a life we never imagined- lives full of victories, joys, hardships, losses.  Lives lived to the fullest.  Lives shared.

You Can Have it All, Just Not All at Once

This week I have been doing a little evaluating of my current life.  Back to full time work, two girls graduating high school, a home to manage, friends to see…  As I pondered my own frustrations, disappointments, I also saw a post from another hard working mom asking if there was such a thing as balance.  Another young mom messaged me asking how I managed, what could she do different.

As women we all struggle.  It is hard to be all the things we want to be.  Sometimes we have choices, other times the circumstances of our lives dictate whether or not we have choices.  As Christian women the struggle can run deep.  Not only do we hold ourselves to the standard of the world, but we hold ourselves up to the Proverbs 31 woman and create expectations we often can’t meet.

Going back to work at age 50 is a completely different experience from that of my 20s. It’s not better, it’s not worse.  It is just different.  Experience has taught me.  Struggles with anxiety and fear have moved me.  As I thought about the questions of dear friends, as I pondered my own momentary frustration I was reminded that today matters.  What I choose today is what matters most.  Who I am today affects my tomorrow.  I cannot be all things to all people at all times, but I can be who I need to be today to the persons God brings across my path.  I can choose today to return home from work and turn my attention to the ones I love most, preparing food, washing clothes, caring for their needs. There is not a lot of time for relaxation, for outings, for extra time with friends.  But that is okay.  All too soon the girls will be gone, their adult lives unfolding.  I will no longer have the chance to wash their clothes, light a candle to say welcome home, cook their favorite meal.  When that time comes there will be more time for friends, for personal rest.

Life is a journey.  Spiritual growth is a journey.  I can have it all, just not all at once.  Each season brings new opportunities.  Each season requires saying no to some things, so others can be cherished.  As I read back through scripture I am reminded the Proverbs 31 woman lived a full life.  She too experienced and lived her life in seasons.  And most of all, I am reminded that what God desires I learn from her is her character traits- patience, love, perseverance, joy, hope.

Remember.  God has you in this season to do His work where you are at this time.  You won’t be able to do it all right now.  But over a lifetime you just might have the chance. Be patient, love well, persevere, and hope in the future.

 

Proverbs 31:10-31New International Version (NIV)

Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character

10 [a]A wife of noble character who can find?
    She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
    and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
    all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
    and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
    bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
    she provides food for her family
    and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
    out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
    her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
    and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
    and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
    and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
    for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
    she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
    where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
    and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
    she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
    and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
    but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
    and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Serve One Another

As a missionary kid I grew up in the midst of people giving their whole lives to service, to making the difference in someone else’s life, seeking to help and to share the gospel. Opportunities to travel the globe as a child and youth exposed me to needs, to political structures which stifled and caused harm to citizens.  I knew from the age of 14 I wanted to work in public service.

This week thousands of us in public service, join the Points of Light Foundation in remembering President Bush’s inaugural speech and his call to action.  We honor him, the legacy he built.  I remember watching the speech.  I remember the reference to the non-profit and government programs spread across the country “like shining stars”.  I remember, in those moments, knowing I had chosen the career that was right for me. Today, as I serve the citizens of Arkansas, President Bush’s words continue to inspire me. Programs and processes do not change people.  Programs ad processes may offer help, they may meet a concrete need, but they do not change people.  People change people.  I believe that, not just because of years of service with government and nonprofit organizations, but I believe that because I know we were created by God to have relationship.  We were created to need one another.

My work plans for 2017 involve the launch of a system to connect people to other people, helping people meet the needs of others.  In my personal life my desire for 2017 is to strengthen existing relationships and open myself up to new ones, to respond to needs when I see them.  As a mother, my greatest desire has been to teach my children to connect to others, to see the needs of those around them and sacrifice their time and resources to meet them.  That character trait is one I have desired to instill and rates high above grades or popularity in our home.  My prayer this week is that they, my girls, and you will read the words of President Bush, be inspired, and then take action.

http://www.pointsoflight.org/people/board-members/president-george-h-w-bush

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