You Are Enough

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One of the biggest lies I fall prey to is the lie that “I am not enough”.  Some of it stems from years of negative messages, trying to live up to an impossible standard, trying to keep everyone happy and conflict at bay.  Other times I get caught in the comparison trap.  And some days it comes from exhaustion and feeling as though I have nothing else to give.

The truth is we are made to influence-to live in relationships with others, called to the ministry of reconciliation.  God wants to partner with us to influence-to help others enter into a right relationship with Him.  He wants us to experience His fullness.  But too often we are like a water bottle.  We look great, we go to church, we study our bible, we show up and do the work and then we make sure the lid is screwed on tight.  We want to keep it all safe, we want to stay in control.  The problem is when we put the lid on, when we bottle up the knowledge, the lessons, the whispers of hope, we limit what God can do in us and through us.  We are full and over time we stagnate.  The full life, the abundant life only comes when we understand that we have to pour out His truth, allow His spirit working in us and through us to spill over- as we pour out, lead with truth, lead from our core His is able to continuously fill us-it never ends.  Just as with the water bottle.  If you take the lid off and then slowly pour more water into the bottle, the water already in the bottle gently flows out.

The TRUTH.  The TRUTH is that I am enough, only when I am continuously being filled and continuously giving.  I am only giving when I am in relationship, pouring into others and allowing them to pour into me.

You are enough.  You are enough because you are His and He longs to fill you and to empower you to pour out into others.  Be brave.  Be strong.  Be faithful.  Be gracious.  Above all remember He is sufficient and because of that YOU ARE ENOUGH.

Busyness Does Not Equal Success

I chose to take the week before Easter off and then this week I have been knocked down by a killer sinus infection and bronchitis.  So my week has taken a little detour, but I’m not off track!

TRUTH.  It is amazing when you decide to select a word, pray for God to show you an area to make improvements, how the selection of the word begins to weave a pattern in your life.  The message begins to come at you from all directions and because of your intentionality and awareness you begin to see it bearing fruit in your life.  You begin to realize your own strengths in an area.  The word TRUTH is proving to be just that for me and I am excited to be on this journey, to have an opportunity to share with you what I am learning, coming to accept and finding challenging.  And the truth is, I’m not sure this is going to be a word just for a year.  Each day, each interaction thrusts me into the reality that TRUTH is missing.  There are far too few willing to be truly brave, and speak the TRUTH.  There are too many failing to act in TRUTH despite the words they spray across social media or over microphones.  TRUTH is indeed the core- not just of who we are, but the core strengthening and binding our communities.

The third lie I have wrestled with as a leader is this:  Busyness equals success and if we simply stay busy enough, we can have it all.  Life is fast paced and we expect immediate responses, service, answers, provision.  Tools surround us enabling us to multi-task, work remotely, work around the clock and be in more than one place at a time.  But in all the busyness we have lost site of the TRUTH.

The TRUTH is we can have it all, just not all at once.    God Himself set the example for us throughout scripture-beginning with creation.  God set the world in order over the course of 7 days.  In His infinite power He could have simple spoken it all into existence in one nano second.  But. He. Did. Not.  With focus and purpose He spoke the parts of the Universe into existence one day at a time.  He rested after each, reflecting on what He had just called forth into being.  He savored it, quietly taking it in and proclaiming “it is good.”  The process was as important to Him as the outcome.  And in the end, it was all created, built to sustain and provide for His masterpiece-you and I.  The work, the creation, was all so He could have relationship with us, and us with Him.

So why do we strive so hard?  Why do we attempt to master time management for the sake of efficiency instead of effectiveness?  Why do stay on the treadmill, competing to see who can leave the office latest, whose in-box is the fullest, whose calendar is illegible?   Why?  Because we have lost sight of the TRUTH.  We were not made for accomplishments.  Work was the result of the fall of man-the rift in the relationship with the one true God.  We were made for relationship- with Him and with one another.  We were made to complement one another, no one being greater than or lesser than another.  We were made for the rhythms of creation.  We are meant to rise, to work, to rest, to reflect and to voice our gratitude.  We are meant to walk in daily obedience, letting the worries of tomorrow go and trusting today’s manna to be sufficient.  We are meant to care for and ensure our relationships in all of our roles come first.

I released the busyness lie about 8 years ago.  It was liberating.  How did I do it?  It wasn’t easy.  I grabbed for the old habits often.  But this TRUTH, this next line is what helped me the most.  I am not defined by my accomplishments, my roles or my job.  I am defined by who I am.  And as I have said before, who I am does not change depending on my role.  I am defined by my relationship with my God and judged based upon how I then relate to those placed in my path.  I have learned that I must practice His presence.  God will not shout over the noise and clutter.  His voice is the still small whisper.  He won’t compete for my attention or time.  He won’t fight me for accolades or recognition.  He simply wants time with me to answer my questions, to give me my marching orders.  For every yes, every new task or activity, there must be a no, no longer or a wait.  The decisions aren’t easy, but I can choose what is best over what is good.

When we focus on what is TRUTH, when we quit striving, the daily objectives become clear.  And one day added to another, step by step, the goals get met, the work gets completed.  We get to cherish the process and build relationships.  We eventually get to have it all, just not all at once.

I challenge you to keep a time log over the next three weeks.  (I saw you cringe)  I promise you’ll be glad you did.  Few of us work as many hours as we think we do.  Few of us are as busy as we think we are.  Keep your time log and then begin to time block, giving yourself specific blocks of time to focus on the most important tasks for the day.  For more tips go to my previous post:  https://wordpress.com/post/simplifiedorganizedstyled.com/1837

 

Don’t Plan Your Week, Guide Your Week

I love organization:  calendars, baskets, hooks, notebooks, planners, colored pens, labels, label makers… the list goes on.  It is in my DNA.  The first born.  Type A.  Disc profile C.  Perfectionist.  Scheduler.  The list could go on, but I am sure you get the drift.

My bent towards organization hasn’t always been my friend.  In fact, it has often been my enemy.  I may appear on the outside to have it all under control, to be gifted and skilled at juggling life’s demands.  On the inside though, it has often been a different story.  The expectations grow and with them the voice in my head pushing me to perfection, telling me “I am not enough”, “do more”.  The anxiety driven by the fear I won’t keep it all together.  The laser like focus keeping me from seeing opportunities and moments around me.  The pursuit all consuming and confining, leaving little room for vulnerability, allowing others to help.  It can be and has been exhausting.  It can be and has been my worst attribute.  But, it is also a gift.

So how do I keep the gift from becoming my demon?  I embrace who I am.  I am created in God’s image, to serve Him and to be reconciled to Him, engaged in the daily ministry of reconciliation.  He is a God of order (simply read the story of creation).  His Word provides a road map.  I am bent towards organization and in His sight that is good, it is just as He desired it to be, just as He created me to be.  However, I have to remember, managing my life:  my things; my activities; my people, is simply a tool to be used to serve Him.  I can’t let it become about CONTROL.  Yes.  Too often  my pursuit of organization is more about my attempt to CONTROL, than to be and serve.  I have to remember He is in control, and my attempts to manage are simply a part of a process.  He teaches me, He guides me, He directs my paths.  CONTROL is the demon.  When I use my talents and my gifts to follow His direction, I relinquish CONTROL, and He is in control.

Maintaining the balance isn’t easy.  The past has taught me.  I have learned to spend less time planning, and more time simply developing a road map/a guide, full of white space, breathing space.  The white space and breathing space give the opportunities to stop, to pray, to listen, to adjust.  My life is fuller.  The pursuit is no longer for perfection or control.  Instead, the pursuit is for relationship, obedience with the One in control.

If you, like me, struggle with this balance, here are a few tools and tricks I use.

  1. I LOVE my Cultivate What Matters planner.  This is not a weekly or daily planner, but a great tool for setting yearly goals, determining what matters most and then cultivating habits to bring it to fruition.  If you haven’t checked this resource out, head over to https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/.  I am not paid to endorse, this product.  I genuinely LOVE and USE this product.
  2. I am a recovering planner addict.  I have spent more money on planners than I ever care to disclose.  Seriously, it is an addiction!  I still struggle.  Each November my Facebook and Pinterest feeds fill with cute images of beautiful planners, stickers, pens etc.  My heart races and I begin to think, “what if…”  I am pleased to tell you though, going on THREE years strong, I have stuck with my Planner Pad planner.  It isn’t all sparkly and cute.  It is practical.  But the layout works for me.  It is a weekly planner format that allows you to “funnel” your tasks, beginning with broad categories, moving to daily priorities, and ending with time specific tasks.  You can find out more by going to https://plannerpads.com/.
  3. I set aside about an hour every Friday to create my road map for the following week.  This helps me focus on the critical and important Friday and keeps items from falling off my radar, as they get moved to the following week.  I am able to assess how much white space I have and make necessary adjustments.  A packed schedule only leads to stress and stress minimizes productivity.  Leave room to breathe, to be the boss, wife, mom, friend you need to be in the moment.  Leave room to run back into God’s presence, seeking His guidance.
  4. Pray.  Years ago, while reading an Emilie Barnes book, I began to practice the habit of praying over my calendar daily.  I am not 100%, but the weeks and months I am faithful to this habit, I am amazed at how my plans change, the resources that come my way or the amount I am able to accomplish.  I am able to view the items in my planner as simply a guide for my week and the unexpected aren’t viewed as distractions, but as opportunities.
  5. Last but not least, I remind myself the goals I have written, the filled in to do lists, are simply guides.  I can’t plan for the future, for I am not in control of the future.  I can establish guides for myself and I can take one obedient step at a time.  When things go awry I remember I am not in control.  When tasks build up or remain undone, when there seems to be no movement toward a goal I step back and reassess.  More often than not, I simply need to make an adjustment, either in my routine or my schedule.  However, sometimes the pause, the prayer helps me see the goal was something birthed out of my desires, and is not a part of His plan.  Sometimes the goal needs to go away.  Sometimes I need to scale back and focus on some small part of the larger goal.  Sometimes I need to ask for help.  Adjusting is better than quitting.  Adjusting is better than making futile plans in pursuit of perfection or control.  Adjusting is bending to His will, growing in faith, growing in relationship, growing in His image.

 

Breathing,Breaking,Beholding

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I took a break from the blog.  I needed to step back, to really push through to the other side.  I began this blog as an accountability tool for myself.  It then morphed into an opportunity to share about my passion for home and organization, along with spiritual lessons.  Then one day, it just seemed there was nothing to say, my thoughts were dark and anxiety and bitterness were becoming more a way of thinking and living.

Somewhere between facing some changes in our finances, ongoing extended family relationship struggles, approaching the empty nest years, I began to spiral.  My thoughts were consumed with the “what if”…”why didn’t I”… “why does she” questions.  It seemed that nothing in my family relationships would change, and that depression and anger would continue to steal from our relationships.  It seemed at age 49 there were not many prospects for entering the workforce, engaged in something I was passionate about, creating a new identity for myself outside of motherhood.  The chaos of the world seemed to only confirm what I feared.  I was tired.  Anxiety woke me at odd hours, my chest feeling as though an elephant were sitting on it, and breathing was hard, shallow.  Fatigue kept me from moving, doing and too often the end of the day found me sitting face to face with regret, angry at myself for letting the worries win.

I would like to tell you that during my morning quiet time or a church service God spoke, pulled me from the pit.  I’d love to tell you about a “burning bush” moment, but that is not my story.  Instead, it has been a slow process, one that began with a desire to exercise, strengthen my physical being, burn off some steam.  I have slowly climbed my way out of the pit, dragging my body up the muddy hill, pushing, pulling, crying, laughing.

I joined a local gym and signed myself up for personal training.  I did it without talking to my friends or family (yes even my husband, which I do not recommend if you are on a tight budget).  I decided I had to do something on my own, for myself.  I needed to make just one small decision and just do something.  I am not going to lie.  I did it with a little bit of rebelliousness.  It has been amazing!  In a matter of thirty short minutes the trainer can push me through exercises that cause my heart to race, my muscles to ache and my body to sweat.  Learning to use equipment I didn’t know existed, pushing myself past that moment of “I can’t”.  At the end of each session with the last count done and the high five slap a sense of empowerment, accomplishment set in.  What I thought I could not do, I could do.  In fact not only could I do it, but I could do more than what was expected. Pushing myself physically, having someone to speak truth as I pushed, hurt, struggled, got me over the hump.  As I began to see and feel the difference in my physical being I began to realize how much I had let Satan fill my mind with his lies.  I realized that while I was a good Baptist girl who read her bible every morning, attended church and bible studies, I was not letting God’s truth fill my mind.  I was choosing to believe the lies, the distorted messages of Satan and it had and was robbing me of life.  I was focused on all that I didn’t have, on the hard parts of life and was ignoring all that I did have, all I had access to through Christ.

What began as a journey to renew my physical body has become a journey to renew my mind.  I have taken every negative thought captive and wrestled with it, searching out God’s truth.  Some wrestling matches have lasted months, while others stop and start. Some matches I have won and God’s truth reigns.  Everything about us, our thoughts and our actions, rest upon what we believe.  I believe I am the daughter of Christ, made in His image.  His Spirit resides in me and gives me access to His power, the power to overcome, to live free.

If you are struggling I want to encourage you.  Step back, breath, take a break and behold God’s truth.  Let each Word sink in.  Release the lies.

The funny thing is not a lot about my life has changed.  The truth is, I haven’t really changed.  I am still me, the girl I have always been, with the same personality, talents and gifts.  Depression and anxiety still have a hold on a family member.  My girls are still headed to college.  My husband’s business is still recovering from the economic crisis of a few years back.  I have had friends bury children, walk through divorce, and lose jobs.  The difference is what I choose to believe.

truth

 

Live on Purpose-Not Drowning in “To Do” Lists

I have the incredible privilege of previewing this book for Crystal, along with a great group of other mom bloggers.  Crystal and I attempt to live life from the same place-a place of purpose.  This book is already challenging me to revisit some of those principles I claim, yet can stray from.  That’s the thing about life-it takes focus, it takes time, it requires pause.

“Living with purpose means wisely choosing and committing to a few of the best things for the season of life you’re in.”  Crystal Paine, “Say Goodbye to Survival Mode”

There is no better time to revisit this principle.  To sit and think through your priorities and choose the best.  As we enter this time of celebration, remembering Christ’s birth, His purpose and hopefully reflect upon our relationship with Him, all that matters most should rise to the surface.  What is the best for the season of life you are in right now?  For me it’s this Second Season Mom time:

1.  Growing my relationship with God through a more disciplined prayer life.

2.  Homeschooling one teen daughter.

3.  Making each day a celebration of life-creating an atmosphere of gratitude in our home.

4.  Praying for provision and helping my husband carry out our budget.

5.  Growing a new organizing business, setting clear boundaries on the number of hours worked.